Art Blog

The Biggest Damn Winner

You, Takua, cheer your crab of choice as they dash for the finish. The contestants give their all for the final stretch in a thrilling display of sportsmanship! Until, what is clearly a Matoran in a Crab Suit skitters wildly off-track, tangling into Absolute Unit and tripping both of them up in an act faker than professional wrestling. Several Matoran in the stands laugh knowingly.

Ceiling Sam- Total Score: 28

Grapple- Total Score: 30.9

Racer X- Total Score: 34

Shortstack- Total Score: 29.2

Matoran in a Crab Suit- Total Score: 10

Hannah the Guncrab- Total Score: 32.9

Horseshoe Crab- Total Score: 10.8

Spot- Total Score: 25.6

Absolute Unit- Total Score: 6.6

Hannah dashes to the finish line, but is overtaken by the mysterious Racer X. As both are about the cross the finish line, the cavern once again begins to tremor!

RuMbLe rUmBlE RuMbLe rUmBle RuMbLe rUmBlE RuMbLe

With another mighty crash, the ceiling caves in just over the finish line. Riding the debris down is a menacing Manas! Snapping it’s claws and glaring at the oncoming crabs. Absolute Unit is now the second-largest crab in Onu Koro.

On it’s heels drops Toa Onua, looking the worse for wear but still fighting on with his claws and throwing waves of earth, to little effect.

You, Takua, turn to Jaller, who has caught up to you with Turaga Whenua. They quickly explain that the Manas escaped containment somewhere deep below the mines along with many other rahi. The others have mostly left the Koro, but the Manas is good and cheezed about being caged for so long. Toa Onua needs help!

Maybe you should have talked to the Turaga or found Toa Onua first…

Nah!

You, Takua, Jaller, and Kongu rush forward. The Matoran in a Crab Suit rushes forward as well. It’s Nuparu! He lost a bet, don’t ask.

Racer X and Hannah the Guncrab also aid you, the rest of the crabs flee squealing in terror along with the Matoran spectators.

How will you help Toa Onua to stop the Manas menace?

Only a crab can stop a crab!

Ride the giant crab!

Throw the bamboo disk!

Throw Vanilla Extract!

Tell it a horrible story about three Matoran with a bucket.

Nuparu, seduce it with your crab costume!

See Results

Pinned Post bionicle takua let's adventure through the magic of polls

stars-and-bites

animentality

vaspider

thebibliosphere

Folks announcing they're leaving Tumblr because they're unhappy with the Twitter clone dashboard on desktop. (I don't blame you, it's broken af.) Meanwhile, the day this hellsite finally does close, staff are going to have to pry me out of the air vents like a rabid raccoon that's adapted to survive on drinking air conditioning coolant and whatever trash is left lying around in the breakroom.

vaspider

It honestly doesn't bother me, but like... I sort of tuned it out.

dduane

ilovedamsels1962

On this day, July 20th 1969, man first set foot on another world.

stars-and-bites

jacobtheloofah

out of curiosity i wanted to compare this metric to david zaslav's salary, so lets specifically compare it to his earnings last year which was $39 million. if the studios referred to in this article continue to lose this amount consistently week to week, over the course of a whole year it STILL wouldn't total up to $39 million. it would take just shy of another 3 months for them to lose as much as this one man made in one year. that's how grotesquely overinflated his paycheck is and that is precisely why this strike needs to happen.

vaspider

amalgamasreal

So Universal Pictures may have just intentionally over-pruned all of the city owned trees in front of their LA corporate office in an effort to fuck with the WGA/SAG-AFTRA picketers during what is predicted to be the hottest week of the year so far:

And the LA City Controller is looking into it:

Once again it looks like it's time for:

maeamian

btw, WGA's asking people interested in this case to also sign this petition about a god damned bitch of an unsatisfactory situation on another street on the Same FUCKING lot. NBC Universal (whose CEO is Mike Cavanagh just btw in case Ron Pearlman is listening) has started a construction project that completely removed the sidewalks from five different gates, in two cases forcing pedestrians to literally walk into oncoming traffic. In addition to being an ADA violation, it's just flat out despicably evil of them and WGA's asking for public support on this issue.

torbooks

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torbooks

camp damascus by chuck tingle nestled in roots, rocks, and leaves in the root of a tree

This advertisement is for a new horror novel called Camp Damascus, from two time Hugo Award finalist Chuck Tingle.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Rose is a teen growing up in the God-fearing town of Neverton, Montana. Whenever she has an impure thought she pukes flies.

Camp Damascus is the self-styled most effective conversion camp in the US of A.

Nestled high up in the mountains above Neverton, a life free from sin awaits.

tiftaf-the-world-jumper

studentofetherium

CGI animators should unionize next. normally, their jobs would be too precarious to strike, since studios would replace them without a second thought, but if it's part of this larger general film strike, they might finally have meaningful power to better their working conditions

studentofetherium

if CGI animators unionized, it would kill the MCU. straight up. the the entire business model is built on exploiting CGI animators